Alternate Disney Endings
by Clayton Overstreet
Summary: To celebrate Frozen 2 I came up with a few other ideas for how Disney movies could have gone.


I do not own these characters or profit from them.

I am writing this for a few reasons. One of course is that I just enjoy this sort of thing and hope you do as well. Two, I really enjoy pissing off the kind of people this sort of thing pisses off. Third I have heard rumors of what many of us hope will happen in Frozen 2 and frankly would have preferred to have had happen in the original rather than a sequel. Ah but Disney has their reasons and truthfully if they do make our dreams come true they're going to take a lot of flack for it. Just as I'm sure I will when at least some people reading this realize what it's all about and stop reading immediately only to complain and whine without even having read through it all. Not that anyone's actually forcing you to even glance at it.

As for the rest of you, please enjoy and comment in the reviews when you get the chance. I do love constructive criticism. Obviously I can't do every Disney movie, if only due to a certain lack of the right kind of characters or story restrictions (only a few incompatible females in the show), but I should be able to do a few rewrites. Fans of my previous fics and my published books should be entertained with how it could have been if, in previous decades, people were a little less bigoted.

 **Alternate Scenes for Disney Movies**

 **By, Clayton Overstreet**

 **Cinderella**

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep…"

(The fairy godmother has just finished transforming Cinderella's clothing and providing her with a coach. Bibbity-boppity-boo!)

Cinderella looked at herself in awe with tears at the corners of her eyes. "Oh fairy godmother, it's so beautiful." She lifted her skirts a bit. 'Glass slippers!"

"You have such beautiful feet, it'd be a shame to hide them dear, the fairy said with a smile. "It should also keep anyone at the ball from stepping on your toes."

Cinderella sighed with delight. Dropping her dress she stepped forward and put her arms around the fairy. She leaned on the shorter woman's shoulder, speaking into the ivory white hair around her ears and hugged tight. "They're wonderful! You've done so much for me. Nobody has been this kind to me in so long." Her voice broke and she let out a small sob.

The fairy hugged her back and smiled. "There, there my dear."

"I just… it seems so unfair. I work all the time. I do everything they want. I did not want to put myself forward. I just wanted to go to the ball like everyone else in the kingdom. I don't even know the prince but I'd hoped… he might save me." She leaned back and smiled at the fairy. "It was my only hope. And they took it from me."

The fairy laughed. "Well dear, I personally think you still looked ravishing, even if your dress was a bit torn. You are indeed the most beautiful woman in the kingdom and I'm sure when he sees you now the prince will fall for you immediately."

Cinderella blushed and lowered her head demurely. "I'm not that pretty. I know I'm not that ugly but…"

"I said beautiful my dear and I meant it. You know it too. Your stepsisters and stepmother know it too. Admittedly compared to most of the women in the kingdom your stepsisters are actually quite attractive and in her youth your stepmother was quite the beauty. At the moment though you are most definitely the most attractive woman in the kingdom and they know it. That's why they didn't want you at the ball."

Cinderella giggled and reached up to touch a gloved hand to her hair. "I suppose it's been so long since anyone has said that to me." She looked into the fairy's eyes. "I think you're rather fetching too."

"Me?" She said. "My dear girl I… well I appreciate the compliment, but it would take a little bit of magic to make me a beauty."

"I don't know. It's true you aren't… um…skinny…" She flushed. "But that just means you live the kind of life that means you don't starve or are overworked. I am thin and maybe too muscular for a woman because I'm constantly straining and cleaning. My stepsisters stay thin because stepmother won't let them eat. You may be better padded, but I notice that despite your white hair, which felt smooth and soft, you don't have any wrinkles at all. And maybe it's just me, surrounded as I usually am by nothing but cruel glares and sneers, but the kind look in your eyes makes my heart flutter more than the finest makeup ever could."

The fairy tried to hide her smile and fanned herself with her hand. "Well thank you my dear. I certainly appreciate having nothing in common with your family. But really, you should hurry now. The magic won't last past the stroke of twelve and…" She trailed off as their eyes met. "And… um…"

Cinderella stepped forward, hesitating only a moment. Swallowing she reached out and took the fairy's hand in which the wand was held and put her other hand on her opposite hip. "I was wondering if maybe… you could show me how to dance before I go. I'm not very good. I sing alright, but… I'd hate to make a fool of myself."

"Well I suppose so," the fairy said, biting her lower lip. She flicked her want and the dog and horse coach driver and footman changed again. One became a skinny man in a chef's outfit and the other a fat man in a black vest. The skinny one began playing an accordion and the other began to sing. "Just one dance won't take too long."

"This is the night… such a beautiful night… on this lovely belle notte… Look at the skies… they have stars in their eyes… on this lovely belle notte…"

Time passed. The two "musicians" stopped singing. Neither of the women noticed. Cinderella had begun humming "A Dream is a Wish your Heart Males…"

Suddenly they were interrupted by the distant sounds of muffled bongs. The castle clock striking midnight. The fairy godmother gasped. "Oh no! It's midnight!"

Confused Cinderella was about to ask what she meant when suddenly her dress melted back into the tatters she had been wearing before. The coach shrank back into a pumpkin and the horses became mice. Only her glass slippers remained.

Her fairy godmother looked stricken. "My dear, I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted to go to the ball and because of me—" She was interrupted as her full face was grabbed in two soft young hands. She looked up startled as soft warm lips pressed against hers.

Cinderella kissed her like she was drowning and the fairy was air. Not letting go she stepped forward so that her body pressed against the full form of the woman she held. After a moment of stiffening and surprise she felt the fairy wrap arms around her and begin kissing back. Again time seemed to pass. The world could have ended.

When they finally broke for air, eyes locked Cinderella said, "I had a ball."

Smiling the fairy godmother took Cinderella's hand and kissed the wrist. "You're too good for some prince anyway."

The mutual admiration could have continued forever, but from outside they heard the sound of a carriage and her stepmother's voice haranguing the driver. She gasped and said, "Oh my god, they're home already…"

The fairy said, "Oh dear, I should go."

Cinderella looked stricken. "Will you be back?"

Standing on her tiptoes the fairy kissed the tip of her nose. Then vanished in a shower of sparks. In her heart Cinderella was sure she would be back. So with a contented sigh she sat down on the stone bench she had been crying on earlier and looked up at the sky.

"CINDERELLA!"

With a sigh she stood up and went to see what they wanted.

000

The next day was the best of her life. It seemed that the prince was being forced to marry by his father, which was why they had invited all the eligible women in the kingdom. The fairy's estimation was right. While neither stepsister was as beautiful as Cinderella, they were still head and shoulders above most of the other women. Cinderella's father had not married their mother for no reason.

So by process of elimination he had ended up picking Anastasia, the one with reddish-brown hair. She and the other two were delighted and immediately began having Cinderella pack everything up. Not being stupid Cinderella acted surprised and put out when they did not tell her to pack her own things. "But aren't I coming?"

Her stepmother sneered down at her. "In the palace we will have our own servants. People who can actually keep a place clean. Why would we ever need you?" It was obvious she wanted Cinderella nowhere near the prince. She tried to pass it off as if she was ashamed of the girl, but it was clear she thought that Cinderella could steal him away regardless of who he was married to. "You can stay here in this rat infested hovel."

"Mice," she almost corrected, but managed to keep quiet by faking a hangdog expressing of betrayal and shame.

Her stepmother had to provide her something. Otherwise Cinderella might complain to the castle. Or present herself. Who knew what the king or court might do if they found out that their new princess had another sister? So long as Cinderella stayed in her place and never had reason to call on them it would be fine. She would have preferred drowning the girl in a well or something now that they had no use for her, but it was a risk she could not take. So she settled for saying, "Now, make sure you put Lucifer into the carriage."

"Yes… stepmother."

A short time later the house was stripped of nearly everything and Cinderella watched the laden coach disappear down the street, never to return. In a month the news that the prince's new stepmother had been sent away to a small rundown house in the distant country by herself, supposedly for her health but according to rumor for overstepping her authority and mistreating the palace staff, on threat of banishment if she ever tried to return. Out of her influence and with a similar threat hanging over their heads her stepsisters both quickly learned real manners and became much less cruel. By the time the prince was eventually crowned king both were much better behaved and Anastasia made a decent enough queen.

Cinderella meanwhile split her time between gardening and turning her old home into an inn called The Glass Slipper. There was plenty of room and taking care of the customers was half the work of following the whims of her stepmother. Everyone was really impressed when they began to notice that Cinderella even had a permanent live-in guest, a kindly older lady who wore blue robes. She was very easy to talk to and people in desperate straights often began telling her their problems which would miraculously be solved. Soon the entire kingdom seemed to be a happier place.

It certainly was for Cinderella. Nobody mentioned it, but she and her "guest" were often seen in the garden, late at night. Music came from somewhere and the two women would dance the night away before retiring to their shared room in the inn. If anyone thought there was anything untoward going on they kept their options to themselves. Meanwhile Cinderella and her true love lived happily ever after.

"Cinderelli, Cinderelli, every night it's Cinderelli. Light my fire, keep me poppin', that fairy always keeps her hoppin'."

Chorus: Tie a sash around her. Put some fingers in her. Up against the wall she's the most beautiful of all. Every night she's doing Cinderelli…

"CINDERELLA!"

*Note: I've always wondered why a fairy godmother, elf queen, goddess, or witch puts so much work into turning a girl into the most beautiful woman in the world only to pass her off to some random prince she doesn't know. I would think once or twice she would look at the girl and think the prince could find his own women. Especially since the result is probably the magical wish granter's idea of a perfect woman.

 **Aladdin**

"Well am I sultan or am I sultan? From now on the princess may marry whomever she deems worthy."

(The following scene takes place at a random time during the coarse of the three movies and the TV series. You decide when. It doesn't matter because it would happen many times.)

Aladdin was off on one of his many mystical adventures with Abu, Iago, and the genie. The sultan was busy with affairs of state, mostly paperwork. Jasmine felt a little left out, but she had just been on adventure with him the week before and as princess she could not just run off on all of them. Well she could have, but she didn't. Aladdin was a great guy, but sometimes she needed a break.

Checking to see that Raja was sunning himself in the garden Jasmine rang a bell. Three beautiful women appeared. Jasmine's handmaidens. Aladdin had introduced them to her. He knew them from in town and the three had been living alone, avoiding the attentions of a lot of the men in town. The triplets were quite beautiful. Jasmine certainly found them attractive.

Without anyone saying a work they began to draw a bath for the princess. Scented water with rose petals floating on the surface. Then they descended on jasmine, their bodies blocking the view as they stripped her clothes and helped her into the bath. One washed her hair while the other two used soft cloths to scrub her body from head to toe. Not even hesitating as they ran fingers over her most intimate places. Jasmine lay back and made contented sounds as every inch of her came under their ministrations.

Then they took her from the tub and brought her to a table where she was laid down and anointed with scented oils and perfumes. She was massaged and caressed. Then the oil was removed with a stigil (a sort of scraper) until her skin was raw and extremely sensitive. Then giggling the girls began blowing out the candles until it was completely dark. Someone with sensitive hearing might have heard the sounds of more clothes falling to the floor in the dark.

The other sounds that followed would have been heard by anyone, had Jasmine not been in her own part of the castle. Loud sounds. Happy and excited and very naughty.

000

Three days later bruised, cut and tired, Aladdin arrived back in the castle aboard the magic carpet. Iago was complaining. "You had to bring back the gold! It was a dragon! He had plenty. What were a few ruby encrusted amulets?"

Aladdin said, "Iago, they were enough to get it attacking that village."

"I could have bought them a new one!" Abu squeaked. "See, the monkey agrees!"

Genie said, "Maybe if you hadn't also grabbed her eggs… you'd think a parrot would feel bad about that."

"What just because I'm a bird I'm supposed to know the gold ruby encrusted orbs were eggs? Besides the monkey took those." Abu shrieked. "Okay maybe I took one."

Jasmine came into the room. "Tough week guys?"

Aladdin smiled at her. "Nothing I couldn't handle. How were things here?"

"Oh, you know. Same old same old."

"A whole new girl. Unbelievable bodies. Indescribable feelings. Sexy hot and willing. Isn't this thrilling. Something to up there, we love to share, and now I'm with a whole new girl… it's true… now I'm with a whole new girl!"

*Note: It was actually quite common for rich women in the time and place of the Arabian Nights to have handmaidens or female slaves (or even fellow wives) whose job it was to bathe and yes, sexually satisfy them in the absence of their husbands. In fact there are several stories in the 1001 Nights in which Sapphic dalliances like this happen. You probably have not read them because the complete text is quite large (think about how long they took to tell) and the versions available in most bookstores are vastly cut down if not intentionally removing all such references. (Look up the name "Siran".) Several of the stories in the uncensored versions involve women being caught kissing or more with a handmaid or slave girl. Though since the stories were meant for a cuckolded man who was killing his wives nightly Scheherazade made sure that the women in the stories usually regretted betraying their husband's trust and lamenting it forever more… even if the handmaiden/slave remained in her company. You did not think a man who might have a harem of three to a hundred wives (more than a thousand in the case of King Solomon) really satisfied them himself did you?

 **Beauty and the Beast**

"She's nothing like the rest of us…"

A kiss. "Beast no! You can't die. I love you!" Belle gasped as the beast glowed and began to transform. In a flash of glowing light the figure before her floated into the air and then began to lower looking much smaller. Wrapped in a cloak still stained with blood. She ran her hands through long gold-brown hair. "Beast?"

A rough voice said muffled from inside. "That's not my name…"

"Well you never told me your real name." Belle pulled the cloth aside and gasped. "It's Veronique."

"You're a girl!"

"Well of course. Is that a problem?" She sat up her hair flowing around her beautiful face in waves. Belle saw the same eyes she had seen on the beast. "The fairy who cursed me… well I always was a bit manly and maybe I acted a little forward with her. I always made everyone call me 'master'. So she made me a bit more masculine when she transformed me."

She smiled and leaned in. "Not a problem at all. In fact I would have felt a bit silly otherwise. Falling in love with you as a beast despite everything and then you suddenly becoming a handsome prince or something? It would make everything we'd been through seem sort of pointless."

"I agree." The princess leaned in the rest of the way and kissed her. They were interrupted as the rest of the castle's residents, now fully human, stepped out gathering happily around them.

000

Three weeks later Belle stood in front of a chalkboard in town pointing at a title in chalk "Female empowerment." She looked at all the town's women, especially the triplets in the front row. "And what have we learned?"

"That you shouldn't judge a person by looks. That personality is more important. And that Gaston was a jerk whose breath smelled like rotten eggs." They all chorused together.

Belle nodded. "Next week I'll be teaching Sexual Education. I hope to see you all there."

"Yes Belle."

As they left the triplets and Belle sang together, "No one's… dead as Gaston, no one's blood is as red as Gaston's. At the bottom of the cliff nobody's crushed their head like Gaston."

"When we redid the kitchen we used his bones in all of our decorating!" Belle belted out.

"No one deserved it like Gaston!"

Belle smiled at them. "Why don't you ladies join me and my wife at the castle tonight?"

"Really?"

Belle shrugged. "I know I don't have the accent, but we are French." The girls squealed with joy and kissed her. "Ah, it's good to be the queen."

As they walked to the castle the triplets sang, "Touch our breasts, touch our breasts; put our whole bodies to the test. It's been years since we've had anybody queer and we're obsessed! Make us cum one by one, until we shout 'Enough I'm done!' and suck you off to sleep because lesbian sex is the best! We give ourselves to you one at time, three or two, just for you! Touch our breasts, touch our breasts, oh won't you please just… suck… our… breasts?"

*Note: Okay that song probably wouldn't make it into the soundtrack. Those triplet girls and the three from Aladdin are literally known as the Disney Bimbettes. They exist for no other reason than as sex objects. Anyway you have to admit having the beast be a handsome prince ruins the moral of the story. In the prequels, sequels and other things they appear in Disney doesn't even have him be a prince. He's the beast again. In Shrek at least Donkey and Dragon ended up together without transforming to fit some stereotypical couple ideal.

 **Treasure Planet**

"That was more fun than I ever want to have again."

(Scene takes place in the final few minutes of the movie. Jim has just walked in dressed in his uniform after joining the Space navy or whatever it was.)

Jim stepped into the inn to see his mother Sarah with Captain Amelia in her lap. In a nearby bassinet were his new brother and sisters. Doctor Delbert Doppler had donated DNA and had been granted parental rights, though everyone knew who the couple real couple was. He'd had his shot and unsurprisingly it had not lasted. He did make for a good father and babysitter though. So while he took care of the kids Amelia and Sarah were making out as people caroused around them.

It took a moment to notice Jim and his two robot honor guards in the doorway. When she did she squealed into the captain's mouth and tried to get up while Jim smirked and waved at her. It took a moment to dislodge the cat lady from her lap and it was hard to tell if the captain or Jim wore the bigger smirk. Morph appeared over Jim's shoulder, taking on the form of a small Captain Amelia and making kissy faces/noises.

Standing up his mom said breathlessly, "Jim! It's so good to see you!" she looked over his uniform. "You've changed so much."

"I'd say a lot of things have changes, eh mom?"

The captain grinned. "It's the uniform. Women can't resist the uniform." Jim reached over and gave her a high five. "Good to have you back Mr. Hawkins."

"Good to be back. Anything interesting happen while I was away?"

Playfully she began, "Well your mother makes the most amusing sound whenever I—" Sarah slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Thanks mom."

Doctor Doppler said, "I was actually wondering what she was going to say."

"Doctor that is my mom."

"Sorry Jim." People around them laughed.

"Me too," Amelia said. "Several months waiting to give birth left me a bit stir crazy."

Sarah smiled and put an arm around both of them. "How about I make us dinner and we talk. Like a family."

"Sounds good to me," they both said. Music played and the three of them danced while the people/aliens around them applauded.

*Note: Come on, the captain could clearly do better than Doctor Doppler. Plus they were both cool and very hot and literally the only two hot women in the movie… barring alien and robot discrepancies.

 **Moana**

"I am a girl who loves her island… and the sea!"

(Moana and Maui have just returned the heart of Te Fiti to the goddess and are in her hand. Maui us holding his hook and Moana has her head pressed to Te Fiti's.)

Te Fiti's lips pursed, pressing against Moana's belly and her pinkie finger bent to trace down the woman's spine as a mossy tongue touched her. "Eek!" Moana jumped and stared at the smiling goddess. "What are you doing?"

"It's called 'kissing'," Maui said. "You mortals haven't invented it and I hadn't taught it to you yet. It means…well basically that you still have her heart."

"What?" She looked at the glowing spiral. "No I don't! It's right…" She looked up into Te Fiti's smiling eyes. "Oh…" She blushed and played with her hair giggling. Looking into Te Fiti's eyes she bent forward and kissed the heart, the tip of her tongue tracing the spiral. "Like this?" In response the goddess's eyes rolled in her head and green glowing veins spread over her whole form.

Suddenly there was a roar and they turned and saw the sea rise up. At first it looked like a todal wave that would swallow the island. But it froze and then shaped itself into another female form, clear as crystal and smiling. She flowed across the surface of the water and wrapped her arms around Te Fiti's pausing only to kiss Moana's back and then rising to kiss the island goddess on the lips. They made out, water dripping on Moana for a moment. Then both bent to kiss her from bother sides, enveloping her in full giant lips and making her moan with pleasure.

Maui smiled and said, "Hey, any chance I can get in on this? If you're only into chicks I can shape shift…" All three turned to look at him and frown. Te Fiti reached over with her other hand for his hook. "Eep! Okay I get it. I'll just leave you three to it and go hang out in the boat with the chicken." He turned into a hawk and flew away.

000

Down on the boat Maui spent some time polishing his hook. It was hard to make out what was happening above. Whatever they were doing Te Fiti had started to erupt like a literal volcano and the ocean had wrapped around Moana to protect her. It was getting pretty steamy up there.

"I always knew Te Fiti was a flaming—" Maui was saying and his tattoo slapped him on the chest. "Volcano. I was going to say volcano." Lumps of steaming half-solidified lava fell around them. "Who is obviously getting her rocks off…"

For hours the ground shook and the waves splashed, the ocean lapping at the edge of Te Fiti as the palm trees swayed and from up above they heard Moana scream, "Wahooo!" The chicken looked up curiously and then began pecking at the boat again. On Maui's chest the little version of him added another line to Moana's side of the scoreboard. Then two more.

Maui nodded. "That's fair."

Finally the water receded, the female form melting back into a pristine ocean. A green hand reached down Moana leaning against the thumb with a contented smile on her face. She is soaked, a little pruney like she's been in a sauna, and when she steps off the mossy fingers her knees wobble. "That was amazing."

"You are my hero," Maui said.

She nodded. "Te Fiti and the ocean told me that whenever I sail the seas, touch the water, and find a new island, they'll be there waiting for me to uh… christen it. Also she wants me to come back here every now and then."

"I'll bet."

(The rest of the movie continues on just as you saw it with Moana getting her new boat and heading home with her family.)

I am Moana! I will board my boat, return the heart of Te Fiti, and have a three way with her and the ocean! (Repeat)

*Note: This one didn't really need much altering. Moana clearly held the goddess's heart, had a friendship (with benefits) with the ocean, and clearly never showed any attraction to Maui aside from friendship. Also it took many cultures a long time to invent kissing, so that whole head pressed together thing might have been meant like that.

 **The Parent Trap**

"Let's get together; we can have a swinging time…"

Sharon and Susan had been in the isolation cabin for several days when Susan said, "Hey, um… would you like to fool around?'

"What?"

"You know, nothing serious, just… maybe practice kissing. You know, for when we get boyfriends. So we know what we're doing."

Sharon blushed. "I thought you liked boys."

"I do… usually. Maybe. Sometimes."

"Don't you think it'd be weird? I mean we do look alike…"

"Oh come on, it's not like we're actually related. Just a little? It's not like there's anything else to do around here."

"Well thank you very much." She sniffed indignantly.

"Oh come on you know what I mean. Besides, we're both good looking blonds." She reached over and ran her hand through Sharon's hair. "Your long hair is really pretty…"

Blushing and smiling Sharon nervously reached over and ran a finger along the edge of Susan's ear, playing with a small piece of her hair. "Well honestly I always thought short hair looked good. Bu my grandmother would never allow me to do it. She says it looks too boyish."

Susan grinned and sat on Sharon's lap. Taking her face in her hands she looked into the other girl's eyes and licked her lips. "I'll show you boyish…" They leaned in for their first kiss.

000

Some days later they lay side by side in bed and Susan said, "You know I've been thinking. You've only got a mother. I've only got a father. Maybe we could introduce them and they might hit it off."

Sharon giggled. "You just want us to live in the same house so we can keep being naughty."

"So?"

"No, I agree, it's a good plan."

Susan nodded. "I'm glad you agree. But first, do you have a picture of your mother?"

Sharon looked at her. "Wondering what I'll look like in a few years?"

"No…well not just that. But my dad's pretty good lookin', ya know? I'd have to take a look and see if she's up to snuff."

"Then let me take a look at your dad so I can see if he's her type. She's very sophisticated."

"Are you implying that my dad and I aren't?"

Sharon sniffed. "Let's just say I'm implying you might not be."

"I'll show you." They got up and went to their things. A moment later they each came back. "Now this picture is kind of old…"

"So is mine." They exchanged them. Sharon looked at the picture of Susan's father. "Wow… that's a weird coincidence. Your dad looks exactly like an old picture of my father I saw once!"

"And your mom looks exactly like… my… mom…" They both froze for a moment, noticing that both pictures had a cut edge. Almost in a trance they held them up and they matched perfectly, now showing what looked like a whole picture of their parents sitting side by side and posing for the photograph. "Oh…"

"Oh my…"

"That's not funny!"

"That's not funny!"

*Note: To be fair I didn't even actually have them kissing let alone doing anything else. Anything you may have imagined was in your head. All the same… two girls at camp… forced to stay together in an isolated cabin with no other company and nothing else to do. They could have done the same story without them being sisters, much like Frozen, and instead falling in love and wanting to get their parents together. Hmm… actually I might be able to turn that into a book…

 **Big Hero 6**

"Woman up!"

(In an upcoming episode of the TV series)

Cass was cleaning up the diner when Go-go came in. It was midafternoon and there were currently no customers. She looked up and said, "Hello Go-go."

"Hey Aunt Cass. I was just passing by and thought I'd see if Hiro or any of the others were here. I was supposed to meet them earlier, but I got caught up in the lab."

"Not right now. They were here earlier, but they went out right after lunch. I'm surprised you weren't with them. They said they would be back later if you want to check in."

"We're a team. Doesn't mean we're attached at the hip." She popped her gum and started to wave goodbye. Then paused. "Need some help?"

"I'm fine."

Ignoring this Go-go came in and began helping her clear the dishes from the tables. "I figure I might as well wait for the others to get back."

Cass looked ready to argue, but then said, "If you like."

They moved around the room, filling a cart with the dirty dished. Eventually they met at the last table and both reached for a fork at the same time. Their hands bumped and they shared an apologetic look. Cass said, "Sorry."

"It's okay." The silence suddenly seemed to fill the room.

"So Go-go… anything going on in your life? Got a boyfriend or anything?"

Go-go stared at her. "You're kidding right?"

"What? You're a very pretty girl. You're smart, tough, and cool. I imagine you're beating the guy's off with a stick."

"For preference," Go-go said. She yanked on the streak of purple in her hair. "I love that you don't treat me like a cliché, but come on. Some things should be pretty obvious." Cass looked blank. "I like women. And no, I don't currently have a girlfriend. I've been busy with school, experiments, and hanging out with my friends." Superheroing too, but she was not going to be the one to tell Cass that she was part of a group with her only living nephew who constantly put their lives in danger. That was Hiro's responsibility if it ever came up.

"Oh! Um… sorry. I just… well you're so pretty. I assumed you had a dozen boys beating down your door."

"Well, what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I mean you're gorgeous, have your own business, but you're not married and you don't have any kids besides Hiro and…" She stopped and they both frowned at the thought of Tadashi. Go-go shook it off and said, "I'm surprised you aren't married with twelve kids by now."

Cass sighed and said, "I don't know I've been out on dates. Had a few boyfriends. It just never seems to work out."

Go-go pursed her lips and nodded. "I've known women like that. You know what you need?"

"What?"

Ass her answer Go-go stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Cass, one hand on the back of her head and another on her butt, then leaned in and kissed her. Cass squealed against her mouth but then smiled and melted into it, eyes closing as Go-go leaned her back until she was lying on the table. She wrapped her legs around Go-go's hips and ran her hands over the girl's leather jacket.

When they broke apart, eyes locked and breathing heavily Cass said, "Wow…um, you work fast."

Go-go smiled and shrugged. "That's how I roll."

Cass blushed and said, "I think I have something of yours." She blew a bubble with Go-go's gum.

Smiling she said, "Oh well then let me get that." She leaned in for another kiss. "get ready to woman up…"

"What does that mean?"

"It's sort of like upgrading."

*Note: It's wrong to judge by appearances and stereotypes. Go-go and Aunt Cass may very well be straight. In much the same way that the woman on the throne in Buckingham Palace wearing a crown could have gotten lost on the way to a costume party or the man pushing you into an alleyway and holding up a knife may be trying to sell you a barbeque set. Snap judgments can be so unfair.

 **Lilo and Stitch**

"You have no idea how badly I need this."

Nani stood on the beach smiling nervously at the pretty blond lifeguard. She returned the smile and made no secret of it as she let her eyes travel over Nani's body. "I think I may have an opening for you."

"Thanks. I'd do… anything for you. I mean this job."

Licking her lips she said, "Well, why don't you join me in the lifeguard tower and we can give you an interview." She glanced at Lilo and Stitch.

Lilo looked up and said, "Are you going to be my new sister?"

Nani blushed and reached for her wallet. "Here's five bucks. You and Stitch go get some ice cream."

"Yay!" She grabbed the bill and ran off.

"So what did Nani and the blond girl do?"

"Meega Nala Quista!"

Gasp! "So naughty!"

*Note: Okay let's face facts. David is a goofball and it was unfair and a little unrealistic that Nani did not get the job in the first place. In Stitch the TV series when Lilo is grown up I assume she married that girl with the snot sucking bat experiment and had a daughter who looked exactly like her due to artificial insemination.

 **Wreck it Ralph**

"Glitch!"

(Just after Venelope's transformation into the poofy princess dress and her threat to execute everyone who was ever mean to her.)

"Stop crying Taffita, I'm not going to execute you."

"I- I can't!" She said mascara running down her face. "Just give me a minute."

Venelope shook her head and walked toward her and her friends as she said, "Just calm down and promise you'll treat me with a little more respect."

"I promise. I promise!"

"And never call me a glitch again."

"Never again. I am so sorry…"

"It's okay; you can make it up to me."

"Anything."

"So glad to hear that." Then to everyone's surprise she leaned in and kissed Taffita on her cheek. "I have a few ideas how you can start later." She lowered her voice. "And if you want you can still call me a glitch… when we're alone." Taffita stared in shock, seemingly unsure if she was going to laugh or scream. Instead her eyes rolled up in her head and she fainted. Venelope smirked.

On the ground Taffita blushed and muttered, "Ready Player One…"

000

(Later)

Venelope lay under the sheet next to Taffita who lay with her eyes shut, stretching happily. She turned to look Venelope in the eyes and smiled. Words appeared in front of the princess's eyes.

Would you like to play again? Yes or No?

*Note: Hey, if Jane Lynch's character can marry a guy then the princess of a game that's 90% food and 9% girls can date her former worst nemesis. I didn't want to do much moiré with this because even though they could be anywhere between 5 and 50 in a Baby Herman kind of way, they do look young so a sweet kiss on the cheek seems like a good place to stop.

 **Peter Pan**

"I'll think of a mermaid lagoon. Oh— underneath a magic moon."

(The campfire scene at the Native American camp)

Princess Tiger Lily has just rubbed her nose with Peter's, making him blush and Wendy turns away in a huff. Tiger Lily sees her and rushes after her. "Hey, where are you going?"

"I just need some fresh air…" She took a deep breath. "Sorry. It's just… ever since I've been here every girl throws herself at Peter. Tinkerbelle, the mermaids, and even you. And you're all so beautiful. I feel…"

"Like you're being ignored?" Wendy flushed red. "That's easy to fix…"

"Well I don't really know if I even want to kiss P—" She was interrupted as Tiger Lily leaned in and kissed her.

When it ended Tiger Lily smiled and said, "I am so happy you are here. All of the women in my village are married and have been older than me for five hundred years. The mermaids are fish from the waist down and the fairies are very pretty, but tiny. I think I would like to get to know you much better."

Wendy bit her lip and blushed as red as Peter had. "I don't know what to say."

Tiger Lily laughed and rubbed her nose on Wendy's. "Say we can adopt."

000

Captain Hook brandished his hook in Wendy's face. "That blasted crocodile liked the taste of me so much he followed me ever since just licking his chops for more!"

"I have the same relationship with Princess Tiger Lily."

"Just think of a wonderful thought."

"Any happy little thought?"

*Note: Let's face it, if they do another version of Peter Pan the "Why the red-man is red" scene probably isn't making it into the new soundtrack. Sort of like I doubt the crows in Dumbo aren't likely to be the racist stereotypes they were originally. Which is too bad in a way because Snoop Dog/Lion singing his own version of "When I see an Elephant Fly" would be epic… In any case Wendy did get jealous of Tiger Lily rubbing noses with Peter, but never said it was Peter she was jealous about, she did keep saying how pretty Tink was, her happy thought was of mermaids, and at the end of the movie she adopted a bunch of kids.

Also Tinkerbelle these days lived in Fairy Hollow where women outnumber men 90-1.

A version of the following joke is from my book "Lesbian Jokes of a Positive Nature" available from Amazon.

Peter Pan flies up to princess Tiger Lily and said, "Hey Tiger Lily, would you like to do something with me tonight?"

"Sorry Peter, I can't. Tinkerbelle, the mermaids, and I are eating out."

"What are you eating?"

"We're having Wendy's."

 **Sleeping Beauty**

See Disney's _Maleficent_. They kind of beat me to this one. So the only change I would make would be Maleficent kissing her on the lips instead of the forehead.

 **Aurora:** Hey, I was raised alone in the woods by three women. And considering how the original fairy tale went… yikes. I'll stick with the wicked fairy thanks.

 **The Lion King**

"Today on the Discovery channel we watch as the lioness we've designated 'Nala', having mated with the dominate male who has taken over the pride by driving off the other dominant lion, the one with the odd scar on his face who was later devoured by the hyenas he had previously dominated, begins to assert her own dominance over the other females of he pride. She will mount each of them in turn, roughly and with much vigor, starting with her mate's mother, the previous dominant female…"

*Note: First off they have seen female lionesses mate with each other, usually in captivity. All animals that have two genders have same-sex relationships. Also if you think this is weird, do the math. There were exactly two adult male lions when the Lion King started. Which of them do you think was Nala's father? The same logic applies to Bambi.

 **The Little Mermaid**

"And don't underestimate the importance of the body language! Ha!"

(Picture the wedding scene where Ursula regains her normal form… but unlike in the original her human half stays the cute brunette she turned herself in to seduce Eric. She grabs Ariel, a mermaid again, and dives into the sea only to be confronted by Triton.)

Holding up the contract Ursula said, "This marriage contract is legal, binding, and completely unbreakable, even for you." She raised an eyebrow. "I'd think you'd be happy. I stopped her from marrying a human."

Triton paused and then looked at Ariel. "Sorry darling, but it seems we're stuck with it." He looked at Ursula. "If you hurt her…"

"Please. You think I went through this elaborate plot to hurt the cute redhead?" She wrapped her tentacles around Ariel, sliding them over her. "Of course I might suggest a trade… your trident for instance?"

Triton froze, apparently considering it. Ariel said, "No father!"

"Ariel…"

"It's my fault I'm in this mess. I should have known better. You can't give her the trident."

His shoulders sagged. "But you…"

"It's fine. I… I'll deal with it." The tip of a black tentacle playfully rubbed against her lips. Truthfully Ariel had not done well on land. Her father had been right. They did try to eat Sebastian. Eric seemed fine with knowing nothing about either her or Ursula's human form. Plus they had not appreciated when she had taken all the silverware and put it in the bathtub. She smiled a little. "Besides it is kind of flattering that Ursula went through all this trouble just for me."

"Come on baby, we'll head back to my grotto and discuss things." She put an arm around Ariel's shoulder and glanced at Triton. "We'll swing by for dinner in a week or so… daddy."

Watching them swim away triton sighed. Sebastian said, "Are you alright your majesty?"

"I should have seen this coming. After all, the reason I banished her was that she tried to steal my wife and declare herself queen… and at least she didn't marry that human!"

"What's an STD and why does it… what's the word… burn?!"

*Note: Okay first of all in the original story she doesn't get the prince. She ends up becoming an air spirit with a lot of other female air spirits. And really the only reason she wanted him was because she thought it would net her a soul. This is based on an ancient story of Undine. As for the movie, seriously if you swapped out Eric for say Princess Jasmine, Merida, Nani, Wendy, or any other woman on that same ship dancing and having fun she would have likely fallen in love with, saved, and gone after them too. She's a fish from the waist down. Gender can't be that big a deciding factor especially when you're jumping species. Ursula at least is another mermaid and if she had been as pretty as every other mermaid we saw in the movie, which as a witch she obviously could be, would her owning Ariel seem like such a bad thing? Shame on you for thinking she couldn't be with Ariel just because she was older and less attractive.

 **Hercules**

(Having just become a god and saved Meg Hercules stands before Zeus as is offered godhood.)

Zeus smiled at his son. "You can now join us on Olympus as a true hero."

Hercules said, "I have wanted that more than anything. But I think I belong on Earth with…. Meg?"

Meg was a little way away, making out with Aphrodite while Phil glared jealously

"You were saying?" Zeus said.

"Olympus it is," Hercules said.

*Note: The Greeks were not homophobic and Hercules is reputed to have had male lovers. Also things did not go well for his first wife.

 **Mulan II**

"Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?"

(Mushu is speaking from inside the golden dragon statue)

"I am the great Golden Dragon. And I say that the Mulan and the Princesses, wherever they may be, can marry whomever they please. And who pleases them. That's very important."

The three princesses popped out of the crowd. "We choose Mulan!"

"Can they do that?" Yao asked as they ran through the crowd. The others shrugged.

Mulan looked at her former fiancé Shang (I think) and said, "Sorry, but I did once say I never wanted to see a naked man again and now that I have the option…" She turned and threw herself into the arms of the approaching princesses.

"What do we want?"

"A girl worth fighting for!"

*Note: In the original story Mulan's friends never found out she was a woman until they came to visit her long after the war. Other famus females who became warriors are Gulnara of the Golden Horde, Debra Samson of the American Revolutionary War, the Amazons who it turns out were real, Bodacia, Anne Bonny, and many more.

(I was going to do Atlantis next, but while the cute little engineer girl should obviously get a girlfriend, nobody who survives to the end of the movie fits the bill.)

 **The Frog Princess**

"Well I've waited this long!"

(The clock started to strike midnight.)

"Oh no!" Charlotte gasped. She grabbed a frog and kissed.

Navine began to glow. "I think it's working. He transformed back into a full sized human. "Yes! Tiana, we're human again! Tiana?"

Back in her human form and princess dress Tiana had her arms wrapped around Charlotte and continued kissing. Navine watched with a smile for several minutes until they broke apart. Charlotte said, "I've wanted to do that for years…"

"Who knew blonds were so sexy?" Tiana breathed. She glanced at Navine. "Uh… in your country are you allowed to marry more than one woman?"

"But of course."

Charlotte's eyes glistened. "Really?" He nodded. She threw herself at Tiana. "Yes! We're going to be real princesses!"

"We sure are… if Nevine doesn't mind."

He stepped up between them. "I suppose if it's what you want I can learn to live with it."

Tiana elbowed him in the ribs. "Two words: Prenuptial Agreement."

000

(Later)

Big Daddy looked at them. "So you're gay now?"

"Bi daddy," Charlotte said.

"Oh no young lady, you are staying and talking about this."

"She's got girlfriends on the other side…"

*Note: Just so you know the movie is as close to the book it was based on was about as close as the Unibomber was to the sketch they had of him. Similar to the Wizard of Oz. In the books Dorothy had silver slippers and eventually basically marries Queen Ozma. In any case while Charlotte was happy for Tiana at the end of the movie, you can't tell me she wouldn't happily enter into a polygamist marriage to be a princess… and if Nevine should happen to die or leave she would probably happily marry Tiana if she keeps her title.

 **Tangled**

"Rapunzel's so mature now…"

(Just after "Mother Knows Best" when Gothel was still hugging her)

"You know my dear, you are eighteen now. Maybe I can help you fill your time…"

Rapunzel looked up at her wide eyed and innocent. "How?"

Gothel smiled and ran a finger through her hair and then took her hand, leading her upstairs to her bedroom. The door closes a moment later, Rapunzel's hair stillsliding under the bottom.

000

While Gothel sleeps upstairs Rapunzel is making breakfast. For some reason she has a huge urge to make her mother breakfast in bed as a thank you. She blushed and hummed as she was dressed only in her night shirt. She bent and gave her chameleon a kiss on the head. "I could do that forever. Who needs floating lights? I am never leaving this towaaaah!" She saw something move and saw a man's face pop up over the edge of the tower window. With a squeal she threw her frying pan at him, hit him in the face, and heard him scream as he fell to his death far below. "Look Pasquel! Mother was right!" She went to retrieve her pan and peeked out the window. "Ew!"

Then she noticed a leather bag the man had dropped. She opened it. Inside was a beautiful jeweled crown and a wanted poster. "He really was a thief and a ruffian… though I think they got his nose wrong." She played with the crown a bit and then put it on her head.

Just then Gothel wearing a robe and yawning came downstairs. She was humming her new song "Mother Knows Breasts." "Rapunzel what was all that yelling?" She paused in shock as she saw Rapunzel in her crown.

"Mother, look what I found!"

000

Gothel had to do some fast thinking but it occurred to her that someone had found their tower and they were no longer safe. She thought and thought about what to do and then a brillaint idea came to her. Which is how they ended up at the castle in time to see the floating lights.

"So you see your majesties, I found Rapunzel as a young girl and raised her myself not even knowing that she was the lost princess. It was clear though that people would want her magic hair, so I kept her sequestered and safe as best I could until we were found."

The queen and King were hugging them both. The queen said, "That hideous old crone who stole her must have died." Gothel managed to hold onto her smile.

Rapunzel said, "But just so you know Mother… Gothel… well she and I…"

The king said, "You can love whoever you want dear. We're just happy to have you back."

Just then two guards came in and one said, "Sire, we found the body of Flynn rider at the base of the tower just as the women said and Maximus tracked down the other two."

"Very good. Have the surviving thieves executed and give that horse a dozen apples."

"Yes sire," they said saluting.

"Now, why don't we get you two into one of the finest rooms in the castle?"

"That sounds amazing…" Rapunzel said.

Gothel nodded. "I think we can make this work."

"Rapunzel knows breasts, Rapunzel's so mature now. That's just yummy, come to mummy! Mother knows best!"

*Note: Okay first off Rapunzel would fall for whoever showed up. In the TV series say if Cassandra had found her instead of Flynn, who is frankly a greedy self important thief who lucked out by finding the most perfect girl in the world, she would have still ended up doing pretty much the same thing and falling in love with whomever. In the real story of Rapunzel first of all the girl is named after a kind of cabbage, which her father stole for her mother. Her name makes no sense if it's a magic flower and come on. Why do you think a witch kept a young girl in a freaking tower? In some versions there's no question that the witch was keeping Rapunzel for sex. Disney in fact probably saw that as kind of obvious which is why it took so long to get to this particular fairy tale and why they had to alter the story so much.

 **The Incredibles**

"It can bend however you can."

Mirage looked at Violet as she and her mother were suspended in midair with their hands and feet encased in the large black balls. She ran a finger through the girl's blue-black hair and said, "You know, you're really cute."

Violet blushed and looked down. "You think so?"

"Oh yeah. You know if you somehow get out of this, I may have to look you up when you turn eighteen." Violet giggled.

Helen snapped. "Violet!"

"Sorry mom."

She glared at Mirage. "Get away from my daughter."

Mirage rolled her eyes then gave Violet a wink.

000

(Later as they make their escape)

Mirage was assisting the Incredibles in their escape from the island. She caught Violet's eyes over the control panel and blew her a kiss. Then they were gone.

*Note: Mirage was what… 23… 25? Violet about 13. Give it five years. Superheroines tend to blossom nicely. And sexy femme fatales keep their looks. Also I could have gone with their babysitter in five years and Helen… but I think Mr. Incredible would have to be dead first.

 **Frozen**

"You can't marry a 'man' you just met!"

Okay here's what we do. The girls are not sisters. Anna is adopted… still another princess, but not related by blood because I know how prudish people can be about that. Kristoff (sp? Ah who cares? He doesn't even make it onto the merchandise) is erased… Anna really only needs the reindeer and Olaf to go after Elsa when she heads up the mountain and we never see the trolls again after they talk to her parents when they're kids.

Nothing else changes.

"Do you want to date a woman?"

"Yes I want to date a woman…"

*Note: This is how it should have gone. Hopefully they do a decent job on the sequel and get Elsa a decent girlfriend and don't wuss out by leaving it ambiguous. And they can't claim they can't do it any more because we all saw Once Upon a Time in which Mulan, Alice, Robin, Red Riding Hood, Dorothy, and possibly Merida were all lesbians in an official "made by the Disney Corporation" way and now they just have to do it in theaters.

 **Inside Out**

Riley took a deep breath. Inside her head two new emotions Love and Lust were there. Love was pink with long hair and big pink eyes, a cute button nose and a face like a heart. Lust was Orange with a curvy body shaped sort of like Jessica Rabbit. They were connected like Siamese twins. Disgust kept giving them awkward glances. She had been unsure how to respond tot hem since they showed up on Riley's 14th birthday.

Fear looked at them. "Are you two sure about this?"

"Yes," they both said in unison.

Joy and Sadness held each other muttering "Don't freak out! Don't freak out! Don't freak out! Don't freak out!"

Anger was waiting like a coiled spring for the reaction.

Riley's mom looked at them with concern. "What was it you wanted to tell us honey?"

Riley looked her parents in the eye and said, "Mom, dad I think I might be gay." She paused as they looked at her quietly. "And there's this girl named Violet Parr and I sort of asked her out on a date this weekend."

"I see her dad said calmly. Inside his head there were flashing lights, alarms, sirens and everyone was running around screaming, "What do we do?! What do we do!?"

Her mom nodded. Inside her head bets were being settled as her various emotions traded cash. One said, "I saw this coming the minute she took up hockey…"

"Should we tell her about what we did in college?"

"It might help her relate."

"It could gross her out," Disgust said. "Or give her ideas."

Joy sighed with a smile, remembering. "Yeah… but let's wait until you know who isn't around."

Riley's dad knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you need us to do anything honey?" In his head they were all praying, "Please say no. Please say no!"

"No."

"Halleluiah!" He paused. "Oops, did I say that out loud?" Riley giggled and his wife shook her head.

"Honey how about I take Riley shopping for a dress for her date and she and I will have a little talk? Meanwhile you head down to the bookstore and see if they have any literature on this to read and we'll all talk about it later?"

In Riley's head Joy waved for Anger to stand down. Then she put her arms around Disgust and Sadness, giving each of them a kiss. "Yes! That went great!"

"I'm actually a little sad they didn't make a bigger deal about it," Sadness said.

Disgust said, "I'm still a little unsure about all this. Is it gross or good or what?"

Lust put a hand on her hip and Love winked. "We'll teach you all about it."

 **Phineas and Ferb**

"I am so telling mom!"

Candace flopped down on her bed. "I can't believe this Stacy. First I fail for like the thousandth time to bust my brothers and then I find out that Jeremy has a new girlfriend."

Stacy sat next to her and patted her on the shoulder. 'That's rough."

"I mean okay I'm sort of used to my brother's outsmarting me, but I've been throwing every signal I could at him all summer and it's like he doesn't notice."

"Oh he noticed right away," Stacy said.

"So he just doesn't like me?"

"Actually he said he thought you were very pretty."

She sat up. "When?"

"When we were talking about you… gee, back in May while we were still in school. He came up and asked if you were seeing anyone. Apparently he's had a crush on you for like a year."

"Really? Then why won't he ever ask me out?"

"Because I told him you were taken. And gay. Like, super gay."

Candace stared at her in shock. "Why would you do that?"

"Because you barely know anything about him and it really would never work out."

"But…"

"Plus you are totally clueless and oblivious about some things. I mean you get super focused and intense and that's cool, but I guarantee a week in it'd probably weird him out. Like how you're always trying to bust your brothers and you've done some really crazy things trying to do that."

"Like what?"

"Two words: time travel."

Candace blushed. "Still you didn't have to…"

"That's not all. You know how you have a crush on Jeremy and you thought he never noticed? Well I've known you since second grade…"

"Yeah, and?"

Stacy rolled her eyes. "God Candace, does someone have to build a thirty mile high roller coaster to get you to notice anything." She saw the clueless look on the redheads face and couldn't help smiling. "God you're gorgeous…"

Candace saw the world tilt until she was lying on her bed. She could only see the top of Stacy's head, but she felt warm moist lips on her neck. "Ah…" Her eyes widened. "Oh. I mean… um… oh…"

A moment later Stacy was over her looking into her eyes. "Candace…"

"Stacy…"

She lowered down and kissed Candace on the lips. It seemed to go on forever. Candace's mind raced. It was weird but it felt amazingly good. Like her whole body was on fire. And she realized. Stacy had been through a lot with her. she had never been as intense about catching Phineas and Ferb, but she had been along for the ride every time. That was sweet and very impressive. Also now that she was reminded Candace had been to the future and hadn't had any kids of her own… though as Stacy moved against her the idea of trying anyway sounded great.

Suddenly the door opened. Her mother Linda stood there staring in. "Oh my god, are you two making out in here?"

Stacy looked up, unsure what to say. Candace said, "Yes, yes we are."

"Oh well okay then…" And she nervously closed the door.

Stacy said, "Oh my god…"

"I know right? THIS she sees."

Stacy giggled and leaned down. "Now where were we?"

000

Meanwhile across town Doofenshmirtz's daughter just happened to be playing with his telescope and was watching the two of them through the window. While her dad whined, "Come on Vanessa, I really need to use the telescope."

"Just give me ten more minutes, dad!"

"This could possibly be the best day ever!"

*Note: Oh come on, Stacy is so her soul-mate. Also it's been years… her name was Vanessa, right?

 **Kim Possible**

I (Heart) Miss Wobackoff.

Kim sat on Shego's lap and stared out at the readers, mouth smeared with black lipstick. "Oh please, like you didn't see this coming?'

*Note: You don't really think Ron's getting into Kim's college do you? Besides she only dated him because her date melted and he was the replacement. Meanwhile she and Shego team up a lot, have a lot in common, Kim let her stay at her house when she turned good, ditched Ron for her, and keeps her picture up in her locker. Meanwhile Shego calls her princess, can slice through a bank vault but never seems to seriously hurt her, ties her up, and calls her "Princess."

Call me beep me, if you want to date me. Doesn't matter where doesn't matter when.

 **Author's Note:**

If you enjoyed these you may want to look up my book "The Complete Lesbian Storybook" a collection of girl gets girl fairytales available from Amazon. All your favorite fairytale princesses, maidens, etc. are there and a lot you've never heard of. If you want to see fair maidens rescued and loved by beautiful princesses, you will love this book.

Now I understand there may be some complaints about these stories. However most of those are going to be from homophobic bigots. Anyone with a legitimate complaint say about my writing style or why they feel the story could not possibly go the way I did it because of some other reason, feel free to explain in detail. As for everyone else…

I see what's happening, yeah. You're face to face with girls who like girls and it's strange.

You don't even know how you feel. It's adorable. Well it's nice to see that people never change.

Open your eyes, let's begin. Yes they're really gay, breathe it in.

I know it's a lot… their hair, their bods. Even one or two lady gods.

What can I say except… you're welcome? For the thighs, the breasts, the butts.

Hey, it's okay, it's okay if they're gay; you're welcome. Just because they're no longer with a guy. Hey!

What has two lips and kissed another girl when you thought they'd be with a guy? All of them!

When the nights got cold who snuggled together and lit a fire down below? You just read about them, yo!

Also they had tons of fun. You're welcome! Sometimes with more than one-on-one.

Also they hugged beneath the trees. You're welcome. Making each other go a little weak in the knees.

So what can I say except, you're welcome! For the fictional girls who made out for you and me.

The Disney girls are all gay, it's okay. You're welcome. Ha! I guess it's better than them sitting around drinking tea. (Sorry Mary Poppins!) You're welcome. You're welcome.

Well come to think of it I could honestly go on and on.

We could turn all the cartoon girls lesbian.

Whether they do it in the tide, the grass, or on the ground,

All the ladies could be messing around.

Copping a feel or grabbing their butts,

Getting turned on by their friends' coconuts.

What's the lesson? What is the take away?

You can't stop people shipping animated women being totally gay.

Never complain about the tapestry of hickeys and lipstick prints on their skin,

It's a fight that you'll never win.

Check on the net, where anything can happen,

Look at those Rule 34 sites where all the girls are tappity-tappity-tappin'— it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey!

Well anyway let me say, you're welcome. You're welcome! For the lesbians you've come to know. Hey, as of today they're all gay. You're welcome. You're welcome!

Well come to think of it I gotta go. Hey I just wanted to say you're welcome. You're welcome! I'm really trying not to gloat! I turned all of the girls gay and it's really okay, you're welcome. Maybe they'll let you play with the little Moana in her little boat.

You're welcome. You're welcome! And thank you for reading!


End file.
